My Money, Your Money, Our Money — Who’s in Charge?

As long as both people are working and earning an income, this is a fairly simple way to resolve things. But what do you do if one spouse or partner is at home and does not work? This becomes more of a problem. If one person is given an allowance by the other, the issue of control comes into play.

According to an article on families.com titled, “Control Issues in Marriage: Money as a Source of Control”, when a woman (or a man) has no income, the income earner can wield power over the spouse who isn’t working. For women, who still earn less than men generally and are more likely to be at home with children, this is damaging to their self-esteem and creates conflict between them. Many men don’t start out wanting to control their spouses but when put in this situation, start to want to know exactly how their partner is spending every penny. They often question purchases and make their partner feel guilty.

When a husband or wife feels controlled, this builds deep resentment and is very damaging to the relationship.

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